If all you ever did was consume American media, you would be easily convinced that we live in an over-sexualized hookup culture. Movies, television shows, even your own friend’s experiences with sex have likely made you wonder what the big deal is. As you step into different seasons of your life, from high school to college and beyond, it’s important to know what you haven’t been told about hookups and casual sex.
Sex is nothing like how it’s portrayed in movies or on television.
It’s all too easy to believe that the girl with the perfectly curated Instagram feed has it all together. It’s just as easy to believe that sex is how it’s portrayed on television. But the fact is that those pictures and those scenes are staged. And in real life, sex isn’t staged; it’s one of the rawest and most intimate experiences you can have with another person.
You don’t need to have sex in order to fit in.
Because of how it’s portrayed, it’s easy to believe that everyone around you is having sex. Because of how virginity is portrayed, it’s easy to believe that it’s something that needs to be discarded – and fast. It’s easy to think, because of how sex is portrayed, that you have to have it to be normal or to fit in, but it just isn’t true.
Your first time is not something to get out of the way.
We’ve said it a few times, and we’ll say it again: sex is vulnerable and intimate, and the first time you have it is not overrated. It’s something you will remember, and there’s nothing wrong with waiting for the person you want to spend your life with.
The #MeToo movement reminds us that sexual encounters aren’t casual.
If you remember back in October of 2017, millions of women shared their experiences with sexual assault online in what’s now known as the #MeToo movement. Sex, while created to be beautiful and intimate, can easily be warped into something that is not. Sexual encounters are powerful experiences, whether good or bad, and that reminds us that they are not casual.
Choosing not to have sex is empowering.
Yes, you read that right. Aside from the fact that abstinence is the only method that is 100 percent effective against pregnancy and STDs, it’s also a reminder that sex is a big deal. And it’s a big deal because your body is valuable. Choosing to abstain reflects a belief that sex isn’t casual, and that you want something deeper and more meaningful than that.
Sex should never be expected of you.
Whatever stage of life you’re in, whether to have sex is a big decision that involves your body. You should never be pressured into any kind of sexual encounter, and if you are being pressured, then the guy or girl you’re with isn’t looking out for your best interests. Whether you’ve been on three dates or have been dating for three years, sex is not something that you need to participate in.
What you haven’t been told about hookups and casual sex is that they are not fulfilling or empowering because they ignore the raw vulnerability of sex. Your body is beautiful and valuable, and choosing to wait means you recognize what a big deal sex is.
If you want to learn more about the benefits of waiting or have questions about sexual health, Her Health is here to provide you with answers. Contact us today for more information.